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Tags: reverse matrix, internet marketing

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By Cassandra Spratling

Detroit Free Press

Parents, if you learn nothing else from Nanny Stella about raising children, learn these three key rules:

1. Be consistent.

2. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

3. Respect is a two-way street.

Nanny Stella knows about raising children and whipping them into shape when they’ve gone wild. When there’s a home emergency in childcare, she’s called an EMS technician: emergency mama service.

Nanny Stella, whose full name is Stella Reid, is one of a team of British nannies on the Fox reality TV show "Nanny 911."

Each week, one of the nannies is sent into a home where children are rude and rotten and attempts to get them right - or at least not so terribly wrong.

The show is on hiatus but is expected to return to its regular 8 p.m. Monday time slot this summer.

She summarizes the lessons on the show in a book she co-wrote with another nanny from the show, Deborah Carroll, titled "Nanny 911: Expert Advice for Your Parenting Emergencies" (Regan, $15.95).

Nanny Stella, 41, says she learned what she now teaches from experience and formal training - a two-year course - that nannies in Britain are required to pass to become licensed nannies. "Being a nanny is a profession in the U.K.," she says. "It’s taken far more seriously."

Parents are drawn to her no-nonsense nannying style even though she’s as tough on the parents as she is on the children in the homes she visits.

In fact, her harshest criticism seems to be aimed at the parents.

They are very cavalier, she says. "They say things they don’t mean. If you say, ‘If you do well we’ll have a vacation to Disneyworld,’ you better be packing your bags if they do well. If you say, ‘I’ll remove a privilege for something,’ you better mean it."

Parents must also be good role models of the behavior they expect.

Nanny Stella has worked in a variety of home situations, from one-day assignments to a four-year job, and she’s getting experience at home by helping raise her 15-year-old stepson.

Being a public parent doesn’t make it more difficult at home, she says. "I feel pressure to be a good parent-role model, with or without the show," says Nanny Stella, who’s been in the United States since 1989. She came with one fiance, but married another in 2004.

The subject parents ask her about most often is sleep.

"People have huge issues with sleep," she says. "Nobody wants to go through the angst of sleep training."

She says there is no magic formula. It requires establishing a routine and implementing it consistently.

Nanny Stella made her move to television when an acquaintance told her producers were looking for British nannies for a new reality show. She applied, but turned it down when it was offered; she was too busy working as a nanny to take 10 weeks off to film the show, she said. Producers called her back, adjusted the schedule and made another offer.

Nanny Stella’s most challenging assignment on the show so far involved a Rochester Hills, Mich., family with two small boys and a daughter.

The mother was in denial about how poorly her children behaved and the role she played in contributing to that behavior, Nanny Stella says.

She says good child-rearing skills can help any parents and children willing to modify their behavior.

"Children thrive on structure, limits and boundaries," she says. "Parenting is really about preparing them for what’s to come in life. We think of them as our children, but they belong to everybody because they will have to go out in the world."

Nanny Stella on …

Sleep: It’s the question parents ask most often. It requires establishing a routine and implementing it consistently until the child gets that nothing’s going to change.

Temper tantrums: Parents should never give in to them. Even if it’s easier and less embarrassing to simply give the child the candy bar she’s screaming for in the middle of the grocery store, don’t. To give in is to reward the child for bad behavior and it will be repeated.

Corporal punishment: Don’t ever hit children. Use time outs instead - a minute for every year of the child’s age. Parents should remember that time out isn’t meant to be punitive. It’s an opportunity to teach the child right from wrong by giving them time to calm down.

Source: www.theolympian.com  12-07-2006

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Tags: advice, Nanny Stella

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